Celebrating Samantha Jones: 70 Quotes from Kim Cattrall's Iconic Character

A Celebration of Samantha Jones

Samantha Jones, portrayed by Kim Cattrall, remains one of television's most memorable characters, known for her humor, candor, and unabashed authenticity. As we commemorate Cattrall's milestone 70th birthday, it’s a perfect opportunity to highlight 70 of the character's most unforgettable quotes that continue to resonate with audiences today.

Wit and Wisdom that Endures

From her unapologetic attitude about love and relationships to her fiercely independent spirit, Samantha's quotes often encapsulate a fearless approach to life. Her dialogues not only entertain but also challenge societal norms and expectations, making her an enduring figure in modern pop culture.

Top Quotes from Samantha Jones

1. “Dirty martini? Dirty bastard!”
2. “You can’t swing a Fendi purse without knocking over five losers.”
3. “I won’t be judged by you or society. I will wear whatever and blow whomever I want.”
4. “A guy gets angry in a meeting, he’s a pistol. A woman? She’s emotional.”
5. “Fuck me badly once, shame on you. Fuck me badly twice, shame on me.”
6. “Easy? Honey, they don’t call it a ‘job’ for nothing.”
7. “The only words you should say in bed are dirty ones.”
8. “I think I have monogamy. I caught it from you people.”
9. “I love you too, Richard, but I love me more.”
10. “Since when did kids become the get-out-of-cancer-free card?”
11. “Men cheat for the same reason that dogs lick their balls—because they can.”
12. “Do you know that when a vagina gets engorged, it expands to the size of a fist? It’s like a fabulous cave!”
13. “Money is power. Sex is power. Therefore, getting money for sex is simply an exchange of power.”
14. “I never met a man who was bad in bed and who was good at life.”
15. “I’m fifty-fucking-two and I will rock this dress.”
16. “This is so typical of men in power. They love to be dominated and humiliated.”
17. “They practically chased me with torches like I was Fuckenstein.”
18. “I remember when Danny had more than one thought… and they all involved going up my ass.”
19. “I can masturbate to whomever I like!”
20. “Hello, my name is Fabulous.”
21. “I’m done with great love. I’m back to great lovers.”
22. “Why does everybody have to get married and have kids? It’s so cliché.”
23. “If I worried what every bitch in New York was saying about me, I’d never leave the house!”
24. “You know, marriage doesn’t guarantee a happy ending—just an ending.”
25. “The right guy is an illusion. Start living your lives.”
26. “I’m going to have a big drink. Jealous?”
27. “An ex is an ex for a reason.”
28. “I don’t do sick person.”
29. “Oh please, if you’re a whore, what does that make me?”
30. “The new millennium won’t be about sexual labels. It’ll be about sexual expression.”
31. “Nipples are huge right now, open any magazine.”
32. “I go to children’s birthday parties for you. You’re going to Abu Dhabi for me.”
33. “This is so typical of men in power. They love to be dominated and humiliated.”
34. “He is a hot priest! Look at his robe, it’s so Robin and His Merrie Men.”
35. “I’m sick of people with children; they’re everywhere.”
36. “I don’t believe in the Republican party or the Democratic party. I just believe in parties.”
37. “What’s your age ceiling with men? Factor in millions and millions of dollars.”
38. “If you were 25 that would be adorable, but you’re 32. That’s just stupid.”
39. “I’m leading the way through the menopause maze with my vitamins, my melatonin patches, my bioidentical estrogen cream, progesterone cream, a touch of testosterone.”
40. “I’m not going to die in this tin can. I have a date with a dildo.”
41. “I fucked a guy once because his family had a pool.”
42. “I feel the same way about being a bridesmaid as you feel about Botox—painful and unnecessary.”
43. “Yes, I need glasses and I’m not ashamed. I have a sexy young man who loves to fuck me and I’m fabulous.”
44. “I will not be judged by you or society. I will wear whatever I want.”
45. “Why don’t you go fuck yourself, because I won’t be doing it again.”
46. “Oh please, there’s always a contest with an ex. It’s called, ‘Who will die miserable?’”
47. “You know, marriage doesn’t guarantee a happy ending—just an ending.”
48. “I have decided, after careful consideration, that I might be ready for bigger boobs.”
49. “Since when did kids become the get-out-of-cancer-free card?”

The Enduring Legacy of Samantha Jones

The lasting impact of Samantha Jones goes beyond her memorable lines; she represents a shift towards embracing a multifaceted female identity that contrasts traditional stereotypes. By celebrating her character's unapologetic honesty and zest for life, we can continue to find inspiration in her words. On this milestone birthday of Kim Cattrall, it's clear that Samantha's voice will echo for many years to come.